My first STD was from a foam party
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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