somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
