I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
