She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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