so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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