Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
