So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
