Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I can't put those talents on a resume
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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