Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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