About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
