shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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