he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
