Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize