Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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