I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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