I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
