yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
