frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You're like the curious george of whores
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
