I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It's blow job season.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
