it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Randomize
