what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
