if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
