id be glad to
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
