: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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