I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
