When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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