Just cropdusted the office
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I have post one night stand depression
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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