Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
