he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
