well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
