Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
