His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
