i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
