You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
