Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
