i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
