I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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