just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize