I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
