Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
