My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
