he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
