So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
