Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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