I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
