HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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