Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize