so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
