I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Randomize
