just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
