Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
