I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
