i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Randomize
