too bad you live with your parents still
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
