this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
