Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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