remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize