Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(319): View more from Iowa

Sponge bath it is.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...

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(+34): View more from Spain

Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.

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(434): View more from Virginia

Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.

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(909): View more from California

I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.

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(850): View more from Florida

I mistook a propane tank for a keg.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...

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(315): View more from New York

mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'

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(970): View more from Colorado

She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set

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