last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
