Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
