You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I am naked and annoyed.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
